"I'm Not Okay (I Promise)"

Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means
(I'm not okay)
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed

I'm okay
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)

But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)

i would be sooo nice to have something to break right now...

i started my day with this song today... i saw a vid about this new "sport" in Canada and Norway which consists in killing baby seals by whaking them on the head with a stick... God, it makes me sick and terribly sad how people can harm with no remorse to little creatures who can't defend themselves...

How Could This Happen to Me
Simple Plan

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light.
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can’t STAND the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t STAND the pain


*CHORUS*
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
The night goes on as I’m fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold
On to a time when
Nothing mattered
And I can’t explain
What happened and I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t

*CHORUS*
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
The night goes on as I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
The night goes on as I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

rainy days and nights...

a little something I wrote last night...

It’s a rainy Wednesday night… listening to music to try to avoid this reality that bites in every chance it gets… so many things to worry about: global warming, social conflicts, freedom of speech, money, work, responsblities, family, friends, thesis, birthdays, gifts, shoes, food, gym, Christmas, New Year… it just won’t end…

God, I just want to run away sometimes… well, most of times… Today I figured out that what I can’t control (or think I can’t) what stresses me out the most. It’s like that Radiohead song, Creep, says: “I wanna have control – I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul”. Well I do want to have control or the illusion of it at least.

About the perfect body and soul I will not talk about right now…

This season becomes one of those periods in time in which I’d love to disappear and not deal with everything’s that going on around me.

But the thing is that even if you want you can’t escape from yourself… inside it can be just as noisy, if not noisier, that in the outside… sometimes, the simple things becomes the hardest. Getting out of bed takes for ever and I’m not gonna even mention how hard it gets to work.

A few moments ago I was outside with my arms open and with my face towards the falling rain and I prayed like I hadn’t done in a while… I prayed for everything to be alright, I prayed for me to have the strength to keep going, to keep fighting, to keep believing that everything will be ok.

But it’s hard though.